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You’re on a date. Things are going well, you think. Even though there may have been an awkward moment here and there, you’ve navigated around those conversational potholes with ease. But now, as your server heads toward you with an inquisitive look on their face, sweat prickles up the back of your neck as you realize there’s another obstacle imminent, and it’s one you didn’t discuss ahead of time: how will you handle the check?

There’s never exactly been one universally agreed-upon way to handle finances in any relationship, and we’ve (thankfully!) all mostly decided that heteronormative “rules” of dating are a thing of the past. However, it can still be helpful to know how others talk about money with each other in romantic contexts when figuring out what feels right to you. Ahead, Bumble has talked to a few financial and dating experts about the age-old issue of splitting the check.

Who pays the bill, and why?

Does the bill go to the person who made the plans? What if one of you is always the one making the plans? What about splitting the bill, and what if one person makes more money, or someone orders lobster, or one person drinks and the other person doesn’t? Again: there’s no one-size-fits-all guide to dating, and there’s no one-size-fits-all guide to paying on dates, either. After all, we’re all different, which is part of what makes this fun (as well as nerve-wracking, at times). But knowing how you feel when it comes to finances is the first step.